The Lost Diary
by CJ Jade
Summary: Canvas Liason Challenge 7. Jason finds Elizabeth’s lost diary and though he knows he shouldn’t, he reads it. [Liason] [Completed]


**Author Notes:** I started this when this challenge was first put out and decided to finish it.  This is my first challenge so I hope you all like it.  Ned and Alexis wedding has not happened yet!!

**Pairing:** Jason/Elizabeth; Sonny/Carly; 

**Summary:** Liason Challenge #7.  Jason finds Liz's lost diary and though he knows he shouldn't reads it.  

**Disclaimer:** I don't own General Hospital or its characters

**Rate:** NC-17

**Category:** Drama/Romance

**Timeframe:** 2001

**The lost Diary**

Jason walked into Elizabeth's studio wondering when she would come by.  He needed her to know he was here for her to give him the okay.  Sitting on her couch he would wait it was close to nine and he knew she lived at Kelly's with Lucky.  Getting up he started to walk around memories of his time living her flooded him.  

Standing by the window he watched the people walk by and smiled.  Things didn't seem to change in Port Charles, there were always some kind of trouble but it seemed to always stay the same.  As he started to move away he noticed something behind a few painting.  Picking it up he noticed it was a book the much have fallen opening it up he realized it was a dairy, **a lost diary.**  

_Dear Diary, _

_            This is my first entry in my new diary that Em got me.  That's good because today I meet someone new, well not new really.  His name is Jason, Jason Morgan and he is Emily's older brother.  He knew who I was and vise versa but we never actually said more than hi.  I was at Jake's trying to feel nothing and cause a little trouble when he saved me from a guy.  Of course I was mad at him at first but now I am not. For the first time in a long time someone actually listen to me.  And he took me for a ride on his bike, god that was great.  But I don't know how to act now, he isn't just Emily's brother anymore._  

Jason smiled as a new paragraph began and she started to talk about her family and friends.  Taking off his **leather jacket** he settled himself into the couch knowing it was wrong to read this but couldn't stop.  Flipping the page he once again began to read not listening to voice that said this was wrong. 

_Dear Diary, _

_            Jason is one of the most confusing and interesting people I have met in my life.  First he acted like he was mad at me for helping Emily to get to Juan.  Then he said he doesn't get mad at people who want good things for Emily.  But tonight I really saw how much Jason loves Emily.  He hates Juan but he is going to help him for Emily, as long as I tell him it's helping Emily and not Juan.  I wish Jason could see that Juan isn't as bad as he thinks.  If everyone listened to what others said about people then I should run every time he or Sonny walked into the room._

As Jason started to flip the page he heard someone playing with the door and shoved the book in the cushions of the couch standing up.  Elizabeth just needed to get away from Lucky before she went crazy.  It was like she couldn't even work at Kelly's without him watching her.  And god forbid a male customer have question about something.  

Today had been the worse and best day of her life.  It started off really bad with Lucky threatening two men who asked her if they could get some ketchup but ended up with Carly helping her.  It was strange to see **the nice side of Carly **but it was a welcoming sight.  Especially when she told Lucky off and almost threw him out of Kelly's. 

"Jason," Elizabeth said. 

"Hey," Jason said. 

Elizabeth stood there looking at Jason for a few moments before she walked over to him and hugged him tightly.  Closing his eyes he welcomed the warm hug.  He just hoped she didn't find the diary and realized that he had read it or he wouldn't have to worry about Sorel she'd kill him before he even had a chance. 

"What are you doing here," Elizabeth asked. 

"I need to stay here, no one can know I'm back and this is best place," Jason said. 

"Does this mean I have to stay away," Elizabeth said. 

"No only you Sonny Benny and Johnny know that I am here," Jason said. 

"I'd do anything for you, you know that," Elizabeth said. 

"So gonna tell me what's wrong," Jason asked. 

"**I've missed you**," Elizabeth said.

Jason sat down on the couch as he began to listen to her.  He was surprised to hear that Carly had actually been nice to her.  Elizabeth had no idea why Jason would actually listen to her all she ever did was complain about her life.  Jason loved listening to her, he found it interesting.  

Elizabeth went back to Kelly's a few hours later leaving Jason alone.  Watching her walk off he smiled when she turned back to see him with a smile.  Jason went back to the couch getting out the diary.  Jason didn't see what the difference was from listening to her and reading her diary.  Flipping it open he opened it to a page and started to read it out loud. 

_Dear Diary, _

_            Jason said that I have the bug today.  At first I had no idea what he meant but explained it to me.  And he is right I just can't get enough of riding.  You go so fast, you heart is racing your breath is out of control it makes me feel so alive.  I know Jason understands that better than anyone else in Port Charles. _

Jason smiled he had never met anyone else who loved riding as much as she did.  It was like she could ride forever and it still would not be enough.  Lying back on the couch he started flipping pages until he saw the words The Wind.  He knew what that was, it was his painting. 

_Dear Diary, _

_            Today I gave Jason 'The Wind.'  Actually I didn't give it to him yet, because I have to put a few finishing touches on it.  At first I thought he hated but he just couldn't understand it because of the accident.  I really like explaining it to him and he seemed to understand it somewhat.  It's more than just lines and colors now at least.  I think it also got him to understand that you never say nice._

As she started to talk about Nikolas he started to go to the next entry.  She was right he never said anything was nice after that.  He never understood how the word nice could mean kiss of death.  But seeing that way her eyes turned sad that day he knew never say anything was nice around her.  

_Dear Diary, _

_            Today was my 18 birthday and all I could think about was Lucky and how we would have celebrated it.  But Jason came when I was on the dock.  And of course the first words he said was, it's getting late then how dangerous it was after dark.  I of course reminded him that I lived on the streets with Lucky for awhile.  But that didn't help any I could still hear the over protectiveness in his voice.  It feels nice to have someone worry about me but not tell me what to do._

_Dear Diary, _

_             I saw Jason on the docks and once again he helped me, he seems to do that a lot.  He made me realized what I wanted to do for my finale project.  A portrait of Lucky with his guitar.  I also stole his quarter, well it's not a quarter anymore it's my good luck charm.  Sometimes I wonder if Jason is really my friend or if he is just being nice like everyone else.  Emily said Jason was different that he didn't pretend with people or say things to make you feel better, but I don't know. _

Jason's smile turned to a frown as he read the last of it.  How could she have ever thought he was anything but her friend?  That was the beginning he knew that, but still he was her friend.  Flipping through the papers he looked for the date close to when they danced and his shootings.  

_Dear Diary, _

_            I was having the worse day ever and Jason came in like he always does.  I asked him to dance with me to the last song I danced with Lucky to feel close to Lucky but that didn't happen.  All I could see was Jason, the smell of his aftershave, the coolness of his jacket, how safe and protected I felt in his arms.  I hadn't felt like that since Lucky was alive and I liked it.  I felt guilty Em says I shouldn't that moving on is good but I don't know.  Jason was great listened to me once again, without even trying made me feel better.  Sometimes I wish I could do something to pay him back for all he had done for me.  _

Jason didn't know how many times he read that entry over and over again.  He smiled a little bit more as he looked outside at the stars that were bright tonight.  The next entry was about her going home and talking to Emily about her F.  Having dinner with her grandmother and talking to Sarah for a moment.  Then he began to read the entry of where she found him in the snow. 

_Dear Diary, _

_            Today I thought the most major thing that would happen to me was I would be late for work but no.  I found Jason in the snow bleeding to death.  I felt my heart beat out of my chest.  He told me to stay away and of course I didn't.  First I went to Sonny but he wasn't any help.  So I got Bobbie, I swear if looks could kill I would be dead.  But I couldn't listen to Sonny I couldn't let Jason die.  I left but came back I was so worried the whole time.  He's here right now in my studio that no one knows about.  I pray that he will be okay, but I can't lose him too I just can't.  But I refuse to cry, I refuse to give in Jason had been through worse, god he was a Quartermaine for twenty years he can over come this.   _

_Dear Diary, _

_            I think I hurt Emily, I didn't mean to I really didn't.  I wish I felt guilty about it but I can't, not really.  She said she wished she could have one more day with Jason Quartermaine tell him everything she didn't before.  She said that sometime she wished that the accident never happened but I said I'm glad that the accident happened.  If it didn't then I wouldn't have Jason in my life, Michael would have never had a great father, and god knows where Carly and Sonny would be.  And Robin, he really helped her over come some things in her life.  Then there is Lucky, I know he died in his building but I couldn't imagine a life without Jason Morgan, even if Emily can.  I have to go, I left Jason alone by his request and I am really worried about him. _

Jason smiled he knew Emily wished that because everyone who knew Jason Quartermaine wished that.  It was nice to have someone not want Jason Quartermaine and want Jason Morgan.  He read her coming over, helping him and started to flip through some pages.   

_Dear Diary, _

_            I wonder if Jason ever had to rely on another person.  Because all I am doing is hearting up soup and making sure he stays warm but not to warm because that would mean he had a fever.  I know what could happen, I know if the people who did this to him found out I'd be died.  But you know what **I don't care** all I care about is Jason getting better and staying alive.  Jason is more important to me all I have to do is find a way to keep Nikolas at a distance for awhile._

Jason smiled he knew how much he meant to her, she would have done anything for him lie to everyone if it meant he would be okay.  He read about Carly and the fire alarm, he remembered how angry he was with her than.  Her getting him the **travel book **on Egypt and the bowl of chili which he ate gladly.  

_Dear Diary, _

_            All because Lucky was his brother does not give Nikolas any right to barge into my studio and give me orders.  God he reopened Jason's wound, I was so scared for him.  Of course I lied, saying that Jason and I were sleeping together.  Why he believe that was beyond me.  Anyone with any brains would have known it was a lie.  Why would Jason want someone like me, but hey it worked.  _

Jason didn't really understand what she meant by that comment.  Why would someone like her want someone like him, all he would do is cause her pain.  He felt his heart tightened, now he was feeling horrible about reading this.  Because he knew there was no way she would ever tell him this but he couldn't stop. 

_Dear Diary, _

_            We decorate our tree, but I don't think Jason likes that I live here as well.  He said our tree needed an angel, I think it is prefect in every way.  He of course went for a walk and as I told him he wasn't ready and I had to help him with his jacket.  We played a game with Michael's present.  The more time I spend with Jason the more I let go of Lucky.  And the only problem is I don't feel guilty about it.  I'm not in love with Jason but I do care about him more than just a friend.  Jason knows me on a differently level, a level no one else knows me at, and I like that.  _

Jason just sucked in his breath as he finished reading this and almost closed the book, almost.  He got up and looked outside, she had only been gone an hour but it felt longer.  He could see the warehouse and just watched it for awhile.  He flipped the page and began to read, the day he moved out of the studio. 

_Dear Diary, _

_            Jason moved out today and I only hope I can be strong without him, he says I can but I don't know.  I don't know if I am ready to face this world.  Yet I know I can't go back, so I'll face it.  This won't be easy not with everyone trying to run my life but I'll do it._

As Jason began to turn the page he read a bit about Juan and Emily and then some about Nikolas.  He found some of it kind of funny.  All the names she called him all the things she wished she could do to him.  Then he read a bit about New Years Eve and the bomb.  But then he found a tear stained page.  And he already knew what this one was about. 

_Dear Diary, _

_            Jason has become the one person I could always count on no matter what, but I guess I was wrong.  He said he knew what I was feeling but if he did he wouldn't have broken off our friendship.  Did he have any idea how much I care for him.  I hurt so much when I walked away, yet I know all he wants to do is protect me.  That this is a way to keep me safe, but I don't want safe I want him.  _

_Dear Diary, _

_            Just as Jason let me back in his life he left, but not just me Port Charles.  I know he'll be back someday he just needs time.  It's hard after all he's been through and not just the last couple of months the last four years of his life.  I think this will be good for him.  And this will be good for me I've relied on him like I relied on Lucky but now I am on my own.  I just hoped I don't make to many mistakes.  _

There were a few more entries but nothing about him just about her life.  He closed it and his heart began to pain realizing just how personal this item was.  He knew he had to tell her he just hoped she didn't kill him when he told her.  Putting the journal on the floor he curled up on the couch and began to try and sleep. 

"Oh my god," Elizabeth said. 

"What," Jason said opening his eyes. 

"Sorry to wake you but where did you find this," Elizabeth said. 

"Behind a few painting," Jason said. 

"It must have fallen off the boxes," Elizabeth said. 

"I need to tell you something," Jason said. 

"What," Elizabeth said. 

"I kind of…not really meaning to at first I...I know it invaded you privacy and trust I kind of," Jason said. 

"You didn't…you wouldn't," Elizabeth said looking at the diary. 

"I did, I'm really sorry.  At first I thought it was just like having you talk to me but…I am really sorry," Jason said. 

"This is my diary and you…of all the things…this was personal stuff I never wanted…how could you," Elizabeth said. 

"Elizabeth," Jason said. 

"Your food is on the counter," Elizabeth said. 

Slamming the book into his chest she grabbed her coat and ran out the door as the tears filled her eyes.  Jason sunk down on the couch feeling even more horrible about himself.  Elizabeth ran until she came to **the Park **was she over reacting.  Part of her believe she was it was just a little book that she wrote things down in.  Personal stuff things she never wanted anyone not even him to know about. 

Walking towards the swings she sat down and started to think of everything that was in there.  She knew by the look in his eyes he was really sorry.  And she knew how he could think the way he did, but he still betrayed her trust a tiny bit.  Jason lied back on the couch his phone went off.  Sonny was on his way over he just hoped this was over fast.

"Hey man," Sonny said. 

"Hi," Jason said. 

"What's wrong…does Liz want you to leave," Sonny said. 

"Not yet," Jason said.

"Not yet," Sonny repeated. 

"She's kind of mad at me," Jason said. 

"Why," Sonny said. 

"I read her old diary," Jason said. 

"You did what," Sonny said. 

Elizabeth went to work but all she could think about was Jason.  What did he think of her now that he read her diary?  A lot of it he knew but some of it was very personal.  Walking into the studio Jason was lying down on the couch with his eyes closed.  He had his arms over his face but his breathing was too uneven for him to be sleeping so she walked towards him.  

"Did you enjoy your book," Elizabeth said. 

"What…no," Jason said.

"I'm sorry I over reacted," Elizabeth said. 

"But you didn't I should have had more respect for you," Jason said. 

"As long as you never do it again I'll forgive you," Elizabeth said. 

"Thanks," Jason said. 

"What," Elizabeth said.

"Elizabeth for the record I would be lucky if someone like you would want me," Jason said.

"Why so I could complicate your life," Elizabeth said. 

"I think that would be the other way around," Jason said. 

Jason looked her in the eyes and saw something there he had never seen before.  An emotion that he never thought he would see flicker in her stormy blue eyes.  Extending his hand slowly he touched her face, without even thinking she leaned into his touch.  

Bending forward she closed her eyes as his lips touched her forehead.  Both his hands now cupped her face caressing her cheeks with his thumb.  His lips moved to her temple Elizabeth moved her hands on top of his.  Jason was amazed at how soft her skin was.  Titling her head up slightly as he brushed his lips against her.  

"Liz," Emily said. 

"Coming," Elizabeth said as Jason went to the closet. 

"Hey, Alexis needs our help," Emily said. 

"Okay," Elizabeth said. 

"Come on, before we have a runaway bride," Emily said. 

Jason leaned up against the wall smiling to him self as he thought about their almost kiss.  He had been so close to kissing her.  As the door shut he waited a few more moment before getting out.  He shouldn't feel this way for her, but he couldn't stop himself.  Jason may have just found a reason to stay in Port Charles for awhile.

Walking into the bridal store Elizabeth took a seat with a frown.  She was cheating on Lucky and she knew it was bad but something else was controlling her.  Carly saw Elizabeth and knew it was up to her to help the poor girl out.  Carly knew that making nice with Elizabeth would be making nice with Jason.  Because she knew Jason and he was still hurt by what she did. 

"Hey Princess," Carly said. 

"Hey," Elizabeth said. 

"Do us a favor and just break up with him," Carly said. 

"What," Elizabeth said looking at Alexis in her wedding dress talking to Emily and Chloe. 

"Lucky, you've been miserable and it's not fair," Carly said. 

"What's the sudden desire to help me," Elizabeth said. 

"Jason really cares for you, I really care for Jason so for him I'm willing to tolerate you," Carly said. 

"I don't want to hurt him," Elizabeth said. 

"By staying with him, you're hurting him," Carly said.

Elizabeth looked at Carly and knew she was right.  Carly squeezed her hand before going to stand by Emily and Chloe as Alexis tried on another dress.  Elizabeth decided right than and there she was going break it off with Lucky.  She had no idea if Jason wanted to be with her all she knew is she had to be true to herself. 

The End

**NOTE:** I am writing the sequel now it will be the Liason Valentine's Day Challenge.


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